3rd Post

Well this is the 3rd post and no one is reading. Which is just fine with me, as I have told no one that this is here. I guess that the anonymity will promote free flow of thought and brutal honesty....

Today I am annoyed. I believe I may hate all of those Nigerian bankers who want to share untold riches with me, but never seem to get that money too me. I also am anoyed with my oldest daughter.

Today I was a victim of a scam. Someone with an ip address in Nigeria hacked into my email account and then proceeded to send an email to everyone in my contact list a bullshit email that I was MUGGED while in London and all my money, credit cards and cell phones were taken, but I was physically fine as I cooperated, but the greedy and nasty hotelier would not let me leave until my bill was paid.

Now I do not know if I should be pissed that so many of my email contacts were so gullible that they either called my office, or cellphone or emailed me or my wife to see what they could do, or should I be grateful that so many people in my list reached out to offer help. Former clients that I have not heard from in years, where we dissolved our relationship on not the friendliest of terms asked if they could help.

I choose the later.

Through this experience it really was heart-warming to see all of the offers of help that came from so many different people. I really had to take a step back and appreciate all that was offered.

Now on to my daughter.

My wife and I spend a great deal of money to provide as many experiences for our children that we possibly can. We send them on trips and conventions so that they can truly appreciate their religion and learn from other kids their age from other parts of the Country.

Well today both girls left for a one week retreat in the mountains and guess what....my oldest called when she got there that she was not happy that she wasn't rooming with her friends./ This annoyed my wife to no end, so I called. I found out that she was with some of her friends, but not with others. I told her to grow up and stop thinking that everyone isout to get her. Why do kids have to do this. You try to give them the best of experiences and they call you as if they are helpless. She is away and there isn't anything that I can do! Also, why blow this out of proportion.

The next time we send them away, I am keeping the cell phones at home so they can't call so easily.

2nd Post

Woo Hoo! 2nd post ever, I guess that is a cause for some minor celebration. So far none of you are following my awesome ramblings. I don't know if that is good or bad. Does that make me irrelevant and insignificant? Or does it lend to my using this forum as a diary or log to help me analyze my goals, or the causes of my issues, of which there are many.

So as this is the 2nd post, lets catch-up since Monday.

Monday night went to the gym and did more cardio than I ever did before. My goal is to run the Long Beach 5k race next summer, but it would be really awesome if I was in shape to take part in the Smithtown Running with the Bull in October. For me to get there, I would need to really be at about a 10 minute mile, now at about 17 minutes. This about 7 weeks away, and the Coach Potato to 5K workout guide requires 9 weeks. So I don't think that this is a realistic try.

Of course my eating has been off, I haven't eaten the right combination of foods, and I am eating too many things that I am allowed to eat. I can have 1 cliffbar so I eat 3, things like that. IT just confirms my penchant for self-sabotage.

I had a great weight loss last week, so this week I have to gain it all back so I essentially go no where. I wish I knew why I sabotage my success. If I could find that out then this blog would be something else.

I have to say that all of my stress this week came from one client who did not listen to me. He had to get in to see his doctor last week, so what did he do....he got in today, it may not seem like much, but my papers had to be in Court by last Friday, so they are late and the judge can reject them, then we lose.

I am also spending way to much time on the Internet just doing nothing.

But I did move 2 things off my personal to do list. Made a dentist appointment (well almost, I called and no one was there so I am still counting it) and made the appointment to see my opthamologist. Still need to make an appointment with internist for blood work and echo, and also to a podiatrist. I am sure all are enthralled with these revelations.

I just wish that I had something interesting or insightful to write about. I'd even settle for plithy!

Well hope to catch up with someone later......

Beginnings

I have to start somewhere, but before I begin, I need to rant about how difficult they make it to create a blog.

You punch in names or ideas and then you have to type in the stupid squiggly letters, and of course they meld into one-another so it is always wrong and you have to keep doing it. By the time you get it right, they then tell you the title or web address is taken.

Shouldn't they tell you that first?

Enough...

This blog will, I hope, track my weight loss. I am not at the start of this quest, but about 1/3 through it. I have repeatedly been told that keeping a journal helps, so I decided to keep a public one. If anyone views it great....if no one views it, that is fine too.

So for those just stopping in, let me tell you who I am.

I am 45+ male, married, overweight, 2 kids, and a very stressful job. Added to the stress is that I work for myself. So by this description I have probably described about 25% of the adult male population.

If you name the diet fad, I have tried it. Weight Watchers multiple times, Diet Center multiple times, Overeaters Anonymous, liquid diets (many different kinds), NutriSystem, Slimfast plan, various forms of medication and pills, nutritionists, dietitians, and a whole slew of others that I can't remember. I have been battling this beast since the 5th grade, as far back as I can remember, and for the most of my life, it has been winning.

When the lap band was being tested for FDA approval, I volunteered for a study at Columbia Presbyterian. I went through the testing and they drew blood and never called me back.

Many years later, I went to another bariatric surgery evaluation and began the testing, and told I had to lose some weight before they could perform the by pass surgery. Well I lost too much weight and the Doctor told me I had to put some weight back on so that my insurance would pay for the procedure. This was by far the dumbest thing that I ever heard so I told him that I would try to do this on my own.

I lost about 100 pounds in about a year and a half, I got down to 275, which I thought was great. Then I lost the battle between the ears. I started listening to people telling me that I looked great, and lost my edge. That was almost 3 years ago.

About 1 year after I lost the weight, I noticed that weight was creeping back on, and I regained about 25 pounds, bringing me back to 300+/-. I got scared at how quickly and silently the weight would creep back on and went back to a R.D that I had gone to before. It didn't work, I was given too many easy choices, like replacement bars, which sated my hunger, but gave me little nutrition and little help.

So I stopped seeing her and did what I do best.....NOTHING.

Then after my last physical, my doctor suggested some counseling, which I agreed to do.

Now I fought everything that the counselor suggested, I would not track my foods, I would not exercise, I would go there talk and on my way home stop at McD's for something to eat, then have dinner when I got home.

This went on for about a year, and my weight hovered around 300.

Now, since July, I have added another component. I am going to a gym that gives personal training WITH nutritional counseling. In five weeks, I have lost inches and about 5 pounds. I am logging my food. I try to go to the gym 3 days per week, 2 training sessions and once on my own. I hope I can keep this up. My goal is to run a 5K race next summer.

I still see the therapist in conjunction with the gym. I think that this is probably the way to go. With one I will hopefully discover why I abuse food, why it is my drug of choice, and with the other I will get my body fit and healthy.

Now if this works, I will hopefully get off all of the drugs that I am taking. Including some supplements, I take 15 pills a night. That is just too much.

But you know what is the ironic thing. If the gym & counseling is successful, then I will get off of these medications, and my insurance company will not have to pay for them and all the future health problems that I will undoubtedly experience in the future if I stay and do nothing, but of course they will not pay for any of my current treatment. This makes no sense.

I understand that they don't want to just pay for a gym and have people not use it. However, they should monitor my progress. If I use it and am getting some results; that I am getting healthier, then they should pay towards it. Maybe they should focus on avoiding diabetes, heart disease, strokes rather than curing them after they happen.

You think that I would have gotten a hint earlier in my life....like the time when I turned 30 and spent Christmas in the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack (it was just a bad combination of sudafed and robitusin pe), or when I couldn't fit in the seat at the Hershey Park roller coaster about 10 years ago, or when I couldn't get into the virtual roller coaster at disney about 8 years ago, or when I was in the hospital 2 years ago with a heart rate of 210 (due to a genetic condition). Maybe I will share thses fun stories in the future...who knows.

So that is where I am at the moment, enough ranting, I should get back to work.

I'll try to post again before the end of the week, if I can figure out how to get back here.....